Prior to being immersed in the experience, parents often know very little about eating disorders and residential treatment centers (RTC). Remember that it’s natural to feel terrified as you step into this unknown territory! You’ll need coaching to help you stay calm and objective throughout the RTC stay as well as guidance in creating the “what comes next” for your child. In fact, when a caregiver makes an effort to seek assistance and learn new skills, their loved one has a better chance of success after completing their stay at a RTC.
In today’s blog post, we look at some basic facts about residential eating disorder treatment, offer some gentle reminders for parents to keep in mind, and also consider five topics to discuss with the treatment team.
Facts About Residential Treatment Centers
To start, let’s consider some basic facts about RTC:
It’s difficult.
It’s only the beginning.
The length of stay is often dictated by insurance, and it never feels long enough. In a perfect world, your child would stay at the RTC for 6 to 18 months until full recovery, but unfortunately, this option isn’t supported by our health care system.
The RTC is one step in recovery. People do not leave a treatment center “recovered.”
Parents/families must be an active part of the treatment team.
Step down, or aftercare, is essential and should be coordinated before release from the RTC.
Set realistic expectations to prevent frustration and caregiver burnout.
The program fit — not the location — matters most.
How Parents Can Prepare for Their Child’s RTC Stay
Walking blindly into a new situation can be traumatic — especially when your child’s wellbeing is at stake. Understanding the possible pitfalls of a RTC as well as the paths to success can have a lasting impact on your loved one’s recovery. Use the tips below to help prepare you for what’s to come.
Feel your feelings. Prepare yourself for your emotions and remember that they are all okay.
Self-care is vitally important. Maintain your physical and mental health and ask for help. As Becky Henry often reminds parents, “When parents get their own oxygen masks on, they see their kids in recovery improve.”
Don’t isolate yourself. Support is essential!
Learn as much as you can about eating disorders and levels of care. Of course, The Recovery Roadmap Series is a great resource! You can purchase each section separately or the full series, depending on your needs. Additionally, two helpful books are How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder by Casey Crosbie, RD, CSSD and Wendy Sterling MS, RD, CSSD and The Starving Family: Caregiving Mothers and Fathers Share Their Eating Disorder Wisdom by Cheryl Dellasega, PhD.
Know that your child’s eating disorder is not your fault.
Be prepared for multiple calls from your child. By the third day, most kids are crying and begging their parents to pick them up. Remain calm and offer responses that validate.
Communicate with the RTC and ask a lot of questions! Below, we dive deeper into five topics that you should cover.
Figure out what you need to do to be an effective part of the treatment team. Your role is essential!
Learn to handle your child’s distress and reaffirm that they’re in the right place. Your job is to validate their feelings, not to fix things.
Listen to your intuition!
Learn how to set and follow through with boundaries.
Serve as a united front with the other parent. Eating disorders love to divide and conquer.
Understand that you need to do your own healing too. Learn how to manage your grief, fears, anger, and other emotions. Be kind to yourself!
Educate yourself about cognitive distortions and know how to distinguish between a cognitive distortion and a lie. Work with your child’s treatment team to help them see the difference between what their malnourished brain is hearing and what was actually said. Know that you will hear horrible, false things about the treatment team and vice versa.
No matter your child’s age, get Releases of Information (ROI) with everyone involved in the treatment plan.
Most importantly, hold on to hope. Know that things will get better.
Five Topics to Discuss With the Residential Treatment Center
To help prepare you for the road ahead, here are five topics that all parents should discuss with the RTC. Note that, when it comes to the contact people at the RTC, it’s important to confirm that you have the correct email address or phone number, as you will need their help.
Communication: Who is the best contact person? What is the best way to communicate as questions pop up? What will the process be like? (i.e. Will I receive a response within 24 hours?)
Updates: How will I receive updates about my child? How often will you update me?
Contact: How often will I be able to connect with my child? How will this contact occur?
Insurance: Who is my contact person at the RTC when it comes to insurance questions? What is the best way to reach them?
Aftercare: What do I need to know about step down? Who can help ensure that we have an effective plan in place?
Check in next month for part two of this series: Residential Eating Disorders Treatment: What Health Care Professionals Need to Know. If you need help as you navigate caring for a loved one with an eating disorder, the Recovery Roadmap Series can serve as your guidebook! Reach out with any questions.
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